Anger Management

A husband asks his wife,
'You never argue when I get mad at you.
How do you always control your anger?'
'I clean the toilet,' she replies.
'How does that help?' he asks.

'I use your toothbrush.'

Proofs of Parenting Failures

Check out these photos of parenting failures:

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An incredible story

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University . On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.
As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, After which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.



Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his
teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man. Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly. Probably wasn't the same fucking elephant.

This is for everyone who sends me those heart-warming bullshit stories.

GOOD VISION IN A DOWNPOUR

> > How to achieve good vision while driving during a
> > heavy downpour.
> >
> > We are not sure why it is so effective; just try this
> > method when it rains heavily. This method was told by a
> > Police friend who had experienced and confirmed it.
> >
> > It is useful...even driving at night. Most of the
> > motorists would turn on HIGH or FASTEST SPEED of the wipers
> > during heavy downpour, yet the visibility in front of
> > the windshield is still bad..
> >
> > In the event you face such a situation, just try your SUN
> > GLASSES (any model will do), and miracle! All of a
> > sudden, your visibility in front of your windshield is
> > perfectly clear, as if there is no rain.
> >
> > Make sure you always have a pair of SUN GLASSES in your
> > car, as you are not only helping yourself to drive safely
> > with good vision, Amazing, you still see the drops on the
> > windshield, but not the sheet of rain falling.?
> >
> > You can see where the rain bounces off the road?
> > It works to eliminate the "blindness" from
> > passing semi's spraying you too.?
> >
> > Or the "kickup" if you are following a semi
> > or car in the rain.?
> >
> > When she explained to the highway patrolman what had
> > happened he told her something that every driver should know - NEVER
> > DRIVE IN THE RAIN WITH YOUR CRUISE CONTROL ON.
> >
> > But the highway patrolman told her that if the cruise
> > control is on when your car begins to hydro-plane and your tires lose contact
> > with the pavement, your car will accelerate to a higher rate of speed making
> > you take off like an airplane. She told the patrolman that was exactly
> > what had occurred.
> >
> > The patrolman said this warning should be listed, on the
> > driver's seat sun-visor - NEVER USETHE CRUISE CONTROL
> > WHEN THE PAVEMENT IS WET OR ICY, along with
> > the airbag warning.
> >
> > NOTE: Some vehicles (like the Toyota Sienna Limited XLE)
> > will not allow you to set the cruise control when the
> > windshield wipers are on. If you send this to 15 people and
> > only one of them doesn't know about this, then it
> > was all worth it.
> >
> >
> > You might have saved a life.